69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize