Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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