i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize