hell yes lets make some ravioli
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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