when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
