Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
