i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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