11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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