I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
