If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
