our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
