He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
