ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
