My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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