i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
