You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
