Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize