you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
