Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
