so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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