Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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