Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
