If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
