Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
