she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
