If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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