Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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