dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
