Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
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He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
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Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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