and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
