I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
