i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?