Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila