How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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