I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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