The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I didn't shave. On purpose
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
