It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
