A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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