okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
