the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
