I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
