fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Can you bring me the toilet please
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
