Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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