even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm at about main and main street
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
