Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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