I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
