Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
