I think i sorta joined a cult last night
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
