Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
