No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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