why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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