dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
