I saw his package. It spoke to me.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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