I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
