Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
