her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
