I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
