I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
