I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
