is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
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