Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
