Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
