Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
