Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
