i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
