I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
