Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
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I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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