her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
