There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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