Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize